We Need to Talk About Jealousy
I’m proud to say I’ve moved past the jealousy of superficial stuff. Sure, I still get a twinge of insecurity when I see a BEAUTIFUL woman, but I’ve learned not to let it linger. I’ve made peace with my body. There’s still room to grow, but that old kind of jealousy doesn’t have the grip it used to.
Maybe you’re still in it. Maybe you moved through it long ago. We’re all on different journeys.
But the kind of jealousy I want to talk about is deeper. It’s energetic.
It’s the jealousy that shows up when someone has what you want. Their success. Their confidence. Their magnetism.
Now this jealousy? Way harder to shake. I sat in it a lot longer than I ever did with appearance-based insecurity.
About two years ago, I found To Be Magnetic, and it helped me see this form of jealousy in a new light. (No, this isn’t turning into a TBM blog. But if you want to learn about the manifestation method I use that’s grounded in neuroscience and not spiritual bypassing, you can read about it here.)
Here’s the core idea that changed me:
Your jealousy is showing you what you want. And the person you’re jealous of? You can view them as a source of inspiration or maybe even mentorship.
You can waste energy being annoyed at someone for having it.
OR
You can say, “Wow. This person has what I want. What can I learn from them? Can they mentor me? Can they be proof that what I want is actually possible?”
Beautiful, right?
Jealousy isn’t evil. It’s an opportunity. It’s guidance. It’s a signal toward your next step. A chance to seek out role models instead of holding onto resentment (which, let’s be real, is a total waste of space whenit comes to your energetic body).
I had a moment like this earlier today, tanning in the sun. And I was going to be vague, but honestly if the person I’m talking about sees this and knows it’s her, that’s fine. Because this is about how she’s inspired me.
She’s an internet friend. We’ve followed each other for years, exchanged DMs, voice notes, encouragement, all that good stuff. She does the same business I do, so we often swap ideas.
Today, she asked how I handle oil-related messages without coming off pushy (an immediate ick for me. I’m ALWAYS running my YL business in a way that gets people the plant tools they need without making them feel pushed into a corner. Gross). or saying too little. She was overwhelmed. “Even if I have 50 people asking about oils?” she asked.
I told her, “Yup. Even then. It’s not about speed. It’s about care, connection, and relationship.” Or something along those lines.
So what happened?
She had a reel from WEEKS ago blow up.
Now listen. Going viral isn’t that rare anymore. But going viral with the right audience? That’s gold. The kind of viral that leads to comments, profile visits, more views, more followers… aligned followers who love what you do.
And that’s what happened to her.
Tens of thousands of new followers. Her people. People who get her. Who want what she’s offering.
At first, I was proud. She’s been consistent. Brave. Curious. Willing to experiment. She’s shown up, again and again, and it finally paid off.
Then I felt it: jealousy.
It didn’t last long (thankfully). But I sat with it. Let’s be honest, my business is stable. It's good. My socials? Also good. But I’ve felt a bit insecure lately. My audience isn’t as engaged. Views are down. Story replies are quiet. Conversions? Meh. I’ve been trying different things. Asking for advice. Experimenting. But still feeling stuck.
And then the pride kicked in. The kind you don’t even realize you’re holding until it’s poked.
Because I’ve been that girl.
I had my explosive moment multiple times. On TikTok in 2020 as a teacher. On Instagram when I posted my first Woowoo Bestie video. When I launched my oils business and it TOOK OFF. I was thriving. Connecting. Creating custom wellness plans. Researching plant properties. Making sales and feeling ALIVE. I left my HR job because it no longer made sense fiscally.
I had that success. I still do in different ways.
But I felt jealous of her recent success. The kind that marks the start of something big.
So what’s the fucking deal, dude?
She asked me for advice. And after years of sharing insights with her, she MADE IT. And still came back to ask for support. That says something, right? Maybe I’m not bringing in 30,000 new followers right now, but I’ve built something worth learning from.
So I checked myself. I’ve already had what she’s experiencing. Maybe I’ve matured past that phase. Or maybe (not so secretly) I want it again.
And that’s the real reflection:
Her success is inspiring. I can learn from her just like she’s learned from me. Maybe I want that next wave of magic.
Maybe I haven’t been working as hard as I think I have. Maybe I’ve been comfortable. Just doing enough to feel like I’m doing something meaningful… but not stretching.
Her win lit a fire in me. I even sent her story to my team for inspiration. Because now? I want that buzz again. Not from hustle culture or burnout. But from aligned, energetic, Generator-style joy. From vitality and purpose.
So the next time jealousy grabs you and makes your stomach turn, your eyes narrow, your palms sweat, pause.
You don’t know their whole story. Their grind. Their growth.
But you do know this:
They can be a mirror.
They can be a mentor.
They can be a model of what’s possible for you.
Let jealousy guide you toward expansion and not resentment.
Your dreams aren’t stolen. They’re sparked.
Oh, and PS: there’s room for everyone. Your success doesn’t cancel out someone else’s, and theirs doesn’t cancel out yours. You can thrive while others are thriving too.
That kind of energy is limitless. So when you see your friends taking off, celebrate them. Cheer them on. Let their momentum light a spark in you. It’s a reminder that there’s more than enough abundance to go around, and your time is coming too.
